What is the Male G-Spot?

For many men, finding the female g-spot feels like setting out on a journey to uncover the lost city of Atlantis. It may seem like a thing of mystery, but once it’s discovered, it’s definitely worth the hard work. Yet even masters of the female g-spot may not know that men have a special spot all their own — and learning where it is and how to use it could lead to some serious mind-blowing sex.

Where is the Male G-Spot?

Although we can’t exactly draw you a map, we can tell you that the male g-spot is actually the prostate. It’s a gland about the size of a walnut, and it’s located right under a guy’s bladder. Obviously it’d take more than a bit of personal lube to go poking around inside a man’s organs, but don’t worry — you don’t need any special equipment to stimulate your guy’s g-spot. Much like the female g-spot, the male g-spot is about two inches in, and toward the belly. You can also stimulate the male g-spot indirectly from outside the body, by stroking the perineum.
While for many couples, learning how to stimulate the prostate is breaking all new sexual ground, there are some pretty compelling reasons to leave your comfort zone and get frisky with his g-spot.

5 Reasons You Should Learn How to Find the Male G-spot

1. He’ll experience an orgasm like never before.

If you’re a woman who has ever had a g-spot orgasm, think about the first time it happened: how different it felt from any orgasm you’d had before, how intense and even surprising it was. The male g-spot is woefully ignored in so many men, so the first time you go for his prostate, it may be an incredible first-time experience for him.

2. It’s taboo.

Let’s face it: sometimes the greatest pleasures are the ones we deny ourselves, and the male g-spot is the forbidden fruit of a man’s erogenous zones. If your man hasn’t explored that part of his own anatomy — maybe he’s used to being on top — it might be taboo and a bit freaky. And that’s what makes it so hot!

3. Does he have trouble getting it up? Relax and go for the g-spot.

This can be a source of emotional distress for many men, and the causes are myriad. Anything from cigarette smoking, to high blood pressure, to plain old everyday garden variety stress can keep a man from getting an erection. And of course, once you get stressed about not getting hard, that stress keeps feeding into itself, making erection more and more difficult. Any woman who has had to deal with vaginal dryness can probably relate!

Unfortunately, while an aroused woman with vaginal dryness can still get it on with the help of a personal lubricant, it’s not so easy to help a man get hard (unless he’s willing to take prescription medicine and risk a four-hour erection). That’s where stimulating the male g-spot comes in. If you’re both in the mood but he has some performance anxiety, try massaging his prostate. You might find that the sexual arousal from the g-spot love helps him to relax and get an erection.

4. You might uncover kinks you didn’t know you had. 

Learning how to stimulate the male g-spot can be an intensely empowering experience, whether you’re male or female. You and he might enjoy it so much that you incorporate it into other aspects of your sex play.

Consider talking about tying him up in compromising positions, and working g-spot attention into your dominance play (and remember: always use caution when engaging in restraint play, so as not to physically or emotionally injure your partner). If your partner finds that g-spot play is one of his new favourite things, you can consider working your way up to using toys created especially for stimulating the male g-spot.

5. It’s another tool in your toolbox.

Who doesn’t want to be a sexual god or goddess? If you’re the kind of man-loving person who loves learning new things in bed and always sharpening your game, then learning how to find the male g-spot should be one of your top priorities. Will all of your partners want that kind of attention? Maybe not, but it’s always handy to have those skills ready any time you want to ramp your sex life up a notch.

How to  Stimulate the Male G-Spot.

Some guys aren’t even aware of this special spot themselves, so giving a guy’s g-spot some love could not only drive him wild, it could also score you some major points in bed. Of course, like any erogenous zone, there are plenty of ways to have fun with the male g-spot. There are two basic methods you can use: stimulating the g-spot from outside of his body (great for beginners and couples who are squeamish about butt stuff), and stimulating it from inside (a more direct and intense way to reach a man’s g-spot).

From the outside 

The easiest way to stimulate the male g-spot is to press gently on the skin between his balls and anus, known as the perineum (or, more commonly, the taint). Massaging this area during sex or applying rhythmic pressure with your fingers will add to his pleasure. Give this spot extra attention right before he climaxes, and you’ll add some serious intensity to his orgasm. 

From the inside 

For even better access to the male g-spot, you can insert a finger or toy into his anus. This is a bit more of an advanced technique than ticking his taint, so it’s important to take precautions and ensure you don’t hurt him. To give him an internal orgasm that will leave him begging for more, make sure to follow these steps:

1. Discuss your g-spot play and set some boundaries. 

It should go without saying that you don’t want to just stick a finger in there without asking. It’s very common for men, especially straight men, to have hangups about the butt, so make sure you discuss the idea of male g-spot stimulation before you experiment. Set up some ground rules and talk through any worries insecurities he might have. 

2. Trim and file your nails.

For the love of all things sexy, please do not forget this step. Just as nobody wants long or ragged-edged nails scraping the inside of their vagina, it’s important to keep your nails as short as possible and filed to smooth edges before attempting to explore your man’s g-spot. Any cuts inside could get infected, and that’s just about the opposite of how you want your sexy date night to go.

3. Take any hygiene precautions.

Long story short, it’s important that he be clean, and that you be clean. Another issue with long nails is that the e-coli bacteria that often hang around the anus and rectum could get trapped under your nails. Before beginning any g-spot play, you might want to get things steamy with a sexy couple’s shower. If you’re concerned with bacteria, you can use a condom, latex (or hypoallergenic) gloves or a finger cot to stimulate the male g-spot safely.

And take note: if he has any physical issues down there, like hemorrhoids or broken skin, it’s best to postpone finding the male g-spot until he heals up. As with all sex matters, when in doubt, leave it out. 

4. Get him warmed up. 

This is a really good time to start by massaging his perineum, indirectly stimulating your man’s g-spot. Remember, you want him (and you!) to be aroused before you go in. This is sex, not a prostate exam.

5. Lube up.

Unlike the vagina, the anus is not a self-lubricating organ. Make sure you grab a bottle of your favourite personal lubricant and use it liberally.

6. Ease into it. 

Apply some gentle pressure to the outside of his anus and circle it with your finger. Once he seems receptive to entry, gently move your finger in (if this is the first time, it helps to give him a verbal cue so he’s ready for the new sensation).

7. Find that g-spot. 

Gently feel for the walnut-shaped bump with the soft pad of your finger. Remember: just a couple inches in, and shaped like a walnut. Listen for cues from your partner that you’ve found that special spot. Once you’ve found it, that’s where the fun really ramps up.

8. Find what pressure and movement he likes. 

Again, as with the female g-spot, not everyone likes the same kind of stimulation! Make sure you have all lines of communication open as you experiment with different kinds of pressure and touch. It may help to start with a light pressure, and ask him to tell you to stop when the pressure feels perfect (or gets too intense). 

Try rubbing the g-spot up and down, in small circles, in come-hither movements or with a more constant, static pressure. You may find that he enjoys a very particular form of male g-spot stimulation, or that he likes a variety of touch.

9. Get multitasking. 

Once you’ve mastered how to stimulate the g-spot, you may want to add oomph to your prostate massage by using the other hand to stroke his penis, balls, perineum, inner thigh and other erogenous zones. Many men find that the orgasms they experience from stimulation both to the penis and the male g-spot are absolutely explosive.

Ready to Show the Male G-Spot Some Love?

Now that you know how to find the male g-spot and how to stimulate the male g-spot, you’re ready to take your bedroom game to levels you never experienced. Just remember not to let your ego get too big when your partner reports the most incredible orgasms of his life. Or, if prostate massage isn’t his thing, you’ve just learned more valuable information about his body, and that almost always leads to better sex for both of you. 

The OkCupid Worst-Case Scenario Handbook

There are plenty of fish in the sea, but let’s be honest -- not all of them are majestic marlins. Navigating the waters of online dating takes some serious skill, and while you’re angling for the partner of your dreams, you may find yourself in more than a few unsavory situations that no amount of sex lube can help you slide out of. Don’t worry -- we’re here to throw you a lifeline. Take our advice and become the captain of your own dating destiny. Or, you know, at least save yourself from a few OkCupid creeps.

---

 

What to do if you can’t get a reply to save your life.

You’ve uploaded that cool photo of you holding a monkey in Guam. You came up with some passably witty responses to fill out your profile, and you sent out more than a handful of messages to the most promising singles in your postcode. Yet despite all your efforts, your inbox remains empty. What should you do now?

Don’t: lose your cool. If you think confronting non-responsive site members will turn the tides in your favor, you’re sorely mistaken. Accuse users of being rude for not responding and you’re just going to look like a pathetic creep (not exactly the persona you want to cultivate, is it?)

Do: try a new approach. Something you’re doing isn’t working, so switch it up! Ask a brutally honest friend to take a look at your profile and let you know if you’re putting your best self out there. You might be coming across as a total weirdo and never know it! Next, try sorting your search results to show you the newest users first. Singles who’ve just joined OkCupid will be more excited to receive messages and therefore more likely to respond.

Lastly, try keeping your messages short and sweet and relatively innocent (save the mentions of personal lubricant preferences for your first date). Instead, include a question that makes reference to something specific in their profile. For example: “I saw you just moved to the area -- have you eaten at (insert favorite local restaurant here) yet?” Keep it light and friendly and make sure each message you send is unique -- no copy and pasting!

What to do if you stumble upon your ex’s profile.

Don’t: message them to taunt them. Look, you’re both in the same boat, so you don’t really have much room to judge. Seeing someone you know on OkCupid is a bit like running into someone you know at a strip club. You’re both there for the same reason. If you’re not friends, there’s no reason to acknowledge each other. Pretend you don’t see them.

Do: laugh at them behind their back. Let’s be real -- not even Ghandi would be able to deny the opportunity to poke fun at an ex’s online dating profile. The trick is to act like some kind of award-winning nature photographer -- observe the beast without it knowing. Capture the experience. Enjoy later with friends.

To do this, sign up for “A-List.” It’s an OkCupid feature that allows you to visit profiles without the owner knowing, and trust us -- it’s worth the couple extra bucks. Make sure you check off “browse invisibly” in your settings, then head to their profile and enjoy the lols. Make sure you screenshot everything too -- they may stumble upon your profile and block you to save face. Plus, screenshots are easy to share with your friends -- and cackling evilly with a group is just so much more fun than cackling alone. Once you’ve got your screenshots, block them. They’ll never know you were there, you OkCupid ninja you.

What to do if your date looks nothing like their photos.

So you’ve met someone promising on OkCupid. They have a job, they get your 80s pop culture references and as a major bonus, they’re actually really cute. But then you meet them in person and suddenly it’s like someone fed your cute and cuddly Gizmo after midnight. You’re at the Cheesecake Factory with a full-blown gremlin. How should you react?

Don’t: accuse them of trying to “trick” you. Everyone on OkCupid is trying to put their best face forward. And if you listed your body type as “average” when you knew “a little extra” was a lot more truthful, then you don’t have much room to judge. Your shapeshifting date might not even realize how many extra pounds or grey hairs they’ve gained since that college photo, so calling them out on it isn’t necessary -- it’s actually pretty cruel and futile. After all, it’s not exactly going to change the situation, is it?

Do: give them a shot. Unless you’ve been seriously catfished and someone who you thought was a 100 lb woman shows up as a 300 lb man, there’s no harm in having dinner or finishing up a few frames of bowling. Sharing a plate of cheese fries now doesn’t mean you have to share your sex lube later. And who knows? Your date’s killer sense of humor or smart and sassy conversation style might just transform them from a six back into a nine. Attraction is more than skin deep, and if at the end of the date you still aren’t feeling it, at least you had a nice time and scored some positive dating karma for your next adventure.

  

What to do if you develop a cyber stalker.

Don’t: shrug it off. Obsessive messaging may just seem annoying at first, but when those messages turn invasive or downright threatening, you could find yourself in some serious danger. Just because your stalker is separated from you by a few miles of cyberspace doesn’t mean they can’t and won’t turn to irl stalking in the future. This is definitely one of those scenarios where it’s better to play it safe.

Do: report them. To report a user, just click on “report” under their latest cray cray message. Then type out a brief description for OkCupid support explaining exactly why your cyber stalker is crossing the line. You may even want to take screenshots of messages, photos, and their profile for future reference. There’s a chance you may be harassed by this creep in the future, and having an account of their shenanigans can’t do anything but help you when it comes to making future cases to OkCupid staff or (worst-worst case scenario) the local police.

Remember, if the world of OkCupid becomes overwhelming, you can always unplug, change out of your sweatpants and head into the real world to try to meet someone in person. Apparently, people still do that. But if you’re like us and you do everything from pay your bills to buy sex lube online, you know that realistically, you’re not going to give up on online dating that easily. So keep these tips in mind and be ready for anything.